1. A “sick” friend. If you’re blessed with a diagnosis, then by garsh, you need to find a friend with something similar. Only your sick friend will understand the uncomfortable feeling of everyone on staff at your pharmacy reaching for your prescriptions without needing to ask your name. When your sick friend says, dang, that sucks, you know she gets it. Being in a constant state of sickness steals your rationality. It takes a sick friend to call BS, say, when you’re constantly looking on the bright side. Your sick friend is the one who says, it’s BS that you feel like this, and it’s okay for you to say so. (Note this sick friend will also call you on any over-the-top pity parties or irrational dropping off the face of the earth.)
2. A creative outlet. Find what makes your heart sing. Maybe it’s knitting. Maybe it’s coloring in your adult coloring book. Maybe it’s using your imagination to find ways to make the crap that frustrates you most, better. And now please—do not give me the song and dance about “not being creative.” Just because your high school art teacher didn’t marvel at your genius doesn’t mean you can’t live a creative life. My favorite definition of creativity is from Bill Moyers (as quoted by Brainpickings): “Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.” So what if your creative outlet is organizing your sock drawer. If it feels marvelous to you, then it surely is.
3. A health advocate. My primary care provider has gone to bat with insurance. She’s held my hand while I cried. She’s comforted other patients by telling my story of things we’ve found together that have made me feel better. Recently attended a gastrointestinal conference and was told about a probiotic strain that was good for IBS-C (one of my many diagnoses). She stood in Whole Foods for 30 minutes looking at every brand of yogurt strain to find one that contained this particular strain—then told me about it straight away! (Thanks, McKenzie!)
4. A basic trust in the universe. Or, a healthy existentialist attitude. Whether you believe the world is in constant motion to bring you to your highest and best—or if you believe the world is indifferent to you so it’s on your shoulders to try to make the most of any situation—the comfort gained from leaning inward toward your essence is immeasurable.
5. Child’s pose. When everything else fails, and you’re not sure about anything, get down on your knees and put your head to the ground. If this is too painful, and sometimes it is for me, try a supported version. This is medicine I use daily. And it works. No matter how angry or sad or frustrated or overwhelmed I feel before, I feel immensely better after spending time in this yoga pose of surrender. I suspect you might, too.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.